zombie blog

I found this post in my old blog. If you consider my old blog to be dead, and re-posting as a form of reanimation, then this is a zombie blog post. It stuck out to me, rather prominently, as a reminder that at one time i wrote imaginative things. i might be a little jealous of myself right now, cause there were lots of nice little bits like this...


earlier, my shoe got caught on the corner of a black hole and i fell down, and one arm fell into the whirling, spinning, cosmic void, and it felt really weird.


kind of like if you were daisy on opium, getting tickled by a pinstriped panda bear. but just one arm. I know a panda isn't really a bear, and that was the really odd part about how it felt.


And i was lying there, thinking: I wonder if audrey would want to try this, cause its pretty crazy, but is it too crazy?


Then I realized that it couldn't be a black hole, because if it really was a black hole, capable of sucking even light itself into its gravitational field, it totally would have pulled in more of me than just one arm.


So I mentally played connect-the-dots on the ceiling tiles, using a pale teal highlighter that smelled like fresh mint.


On a scale from one to Jerusalem, I probably was playing connect-the-dots for about three bloodworms, because Bloodworms were on that show, Dirty Jobs on the discovery channel, and it was pretty amusing.


When I finally pulled my arm out, there was this suction sound that was like when you suck a sobe tea bottle onto your lips, but with undertones of jell-O and a sort of shower-stall resonance. You could feel the daisy slowing defoliating, but i couldn't quite control my muscles well enough to wave good-bye to the panda.


As for the black hole thing, i know its a bit irresponsible, but i think i'm just going to let the janitorial staff worry about cleaning it up.