Bank Rant

I got a call from Audrey, who was already frustrated from having to make two trips to the bank, wells fargo, trying to deposit the insurance check into our account so we can pay the roofers when they show up. Did I blog about the new roof? anyway, we're getting a new roof, mainly with insurance money, which is great... but the bank today. Audrey first went in with the check, and they said no no no you need the detailed report the insurance adjuster e-mailed you before you can deposit this check, made out to you, into your bank account. Audrey probably sighs with mild frustration at this point, gets the kids packed up, and goes home to retrieve the paperwork, and returns to the bank with everything they told her to bring. They get slightly further into the process this time, before revealing that actually she isn't allowed to deposit the check because she is not the primary name on our mortgage. What does this have to do with anything, when this is supposed to be between the insurance company and our bank account? i don't know, but our mortage is through wells fargo, and her name is prominently on the account, just not in the primary position. Still, that isn't good enough. Thomas A Rinkoski has to handle the transaction personally. So she calls me, and I take my lunch break, she drops the papers off (she was headed downtown to take the kids to the library anyway), and I go to the downtown branch armed with the check, all the paperwork, and photographic ID proof that I am, in fact, myself. I left a centrifuge spinning with my maxiprep DNA, figuring it would finish the last 20 min of its spin, slow down for 5 minutes, and I'd be back to get it out. So I am in the bank, and present my paperwork to banker 1, who is immediately joined by a presumably more experienced banker 2, who will show banker 1 how to process an insurance claim check. They call the insurance company to find the web address of the online claim check application, which makes it so easy, because you don't have to call them on the phone anymore! Then they fumble around on the online application, and call back because they can't figure out the tab system of progressing through the claim. They input a few numbers seemingly at random from the stack of paperwork I've given them, and we seem to be at a point where we can proceed to depositing the check. They take the check and my ID and go to photocopy it, then return with a pained expression, because the check is made out to Tommy AND Audrey -- not Tommy OR Audrey -- which apparently means that it needs both our signatures. Audrey never got this far, so she has not signed the check, assuming that when they told her that I had to do it, that included endorsing the check. Luckily, a phone call reveals she is still downtown at the library. So i run over there, get her signature, and run back to the bank. Then we can proceed to depositing the check. The only stumbling block remaining is that we need a manager to sign off on the whole thing. The managers are both in a meeting. When they let me know this, I use my 4 years of training as an actor to downplay my expression of frustration to a reasonable level, and they go knock on the door to interrupt the meeting and get the signature. So now everything is ready, and these bankers have everything they need! All that needs to happen now is to simply deposit the signed-off, doubly-endorsed, insurance-approved fucking check. The banker's eyes go to the longish line in front of the tellers. I make the realization that the personal bankers with their nice little offices and individual computer stations, cannot deposit a check into my account. A teller has to do that. The banker offers to wait in line for me, and mail me the receipt. I know its a bad move to accept this, based on the incredible level of efficacy they have displayed over the course of the day, but I do, because I have been at the bank (or running to the library) for more than an hour now, and if there is any chance of salvaging my prepped DNA back at the lab, I need to get there fast. They almost manage not to return my paperwork, and I finally make a getaway.

So today, I deposited a check into my checking account, and it took two branches, four entrances into the bank, 4 bankers, a bank manager, and at some point a teller, over the course of about 2.5 hours.

However, on the bright side, and I feel I must remind myself of this - we're getting our roof paid for by insurance, and that's pretty cool.