messy first response

Trump won the election last night. So many emotions in reaction to this are roiling in my mind. This may turn into several posts.

I am so disappointed with our nation. It feels like hate won, and racism won, and misogyny won, the list goes on.

This wasn't supposed to happen. In my head, we were so much better than this.

Uncertainty about what happens next. What do I tell my kids?

Does the America that made this horrible mistake have the strength to weather the results?

I am angry. I want to know who to lash out at. Someone commented on my post of the above picture on facebook, in support of Trump over Clinton, and I wrote a very angry rant before realizing that this person, this friend with a different opinion than me, did not deserve to be the focus of my anger. I made myself delete it and replaced it with a better message, but I am no less angry.

I want to understand how so many people voted the way they did. Because while I feel like hate won, I have to imagine that very few people actually went to the voting booth thinking to themselves "I'm voting for Hate today!" There are a number of factors here. Privilege is big, institutionalized racism and sexism and other intolerances play a big part. The media coverage is a part of it - scandals were equated that had no business being equated. There was a massive drive to shake off the gridlocked establishment politics. All this stuff played into it.

But the result is horrible. Trump's comments and attitudes have targeted so many groups that already struggle in our society. I see friends, family, and figures I admire who are legitimately afraid of this result, and they have every reason to be!

I think the good response, the best choice, is to choose the attitude that #LoveTrumpsHate and try to fill my space with positive energy. Like my friend Kristen said, 'Sing Louder'. And Love Harder. Inspire people to be their best selves by being mine. Reach out hands and words where I can.

I'm also really stuck on the question: 'What do I do with my privilege?' I am white, male, straight, cis, and middle class. I have nearly all the privilege. Today I am really ashamed of that. There must be a responsible, smart, loving thing to do with my privilege, right? what is it?